Venus Kii Thomas

Tag: life

  • My 35th Birthday Is an Invisible Grammy

    Good Morning Friends, Community, Comrades, People… and Bitches and Motherfuckers,

    Consider this statement the birthday speech! Here we go…

    It’s the 3rd day of Black Liberation/Pride Month and my 4th day of my 35th year on Earth. In the days leading up to my entrance into this year, it became more clear that I had a lot to say that couldn’t be properly summarized in a few social media posts.

    34 was an immense closure. Many doors automatically closed. Many doors I had to work to close. And as those doors were closing, I found myself claiming the age of 35 a few months prematurely. Because that’s how I was feeling. The development of a new skin, the heightening of an attitude that has always wanted to storm from my bones. 

    Once upon a time, I didn’t think I would make it to 27. Then 30 came and I was shocked I got this far. For a little while, I thought, “what the fuck am I doing here? what kind of sense does this make?” Apparently there were more puzzle pieces to gather. Such is life.

    But making it to 35? It’s the debunking of a myth. Not just of the widely reported, anxiety-inducing, and fabrication of the life expectancy of Black trans women in the United States. Arriving here debunks the entire myth and lie that was sewn into my life, my psyche, and my spirit.

    That I was always supposed to be dead. To act dead. To perform and project death. 

    The door opened to 35. And I believe it was age that I was always supposed to reach. 

    BEHOLD… MY SECOND ACT, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE KNOWS THE SECOND ACT IS BETTER THAN THE FIRST IN LIFE!! 

    I’ve reflected on the lives my people have lived, including many of the people I don’t know in my bloodstream. There’s a heavy history of not being able to achieve a second act because of trauma, pain, violence, abuse, fear, internalizations, hurt… so much hurt… unable to truly locate the God within themselves. But what has kept me together, somehow, is the fact that I am someone’s manifestation of existing in this lifetime. 

    I AM SOMEONE’S MANIFESTATION OF EXISTING IN THIS LIFETIME. HOW ALCHEMICAL CAN YOU GET?…

    As another sun rises over Baltimore, it is another confirmation of having entered the other side. I have made it to a place I never thought I’d get to – the years where I choose to live the best life, to do the impossible, to defy gravity, to… What’s something higher than flying? Whatever that is, THAT THING! 

    Everything… had to be burned down for me to arrive here. And when you burn it down, you don’t look back.

    For those of you who grew up in the church, you probably know the song: We will tell the story of how we’ve overcome and we’ll understand it better by and by… 

    I am blessed to be here. I am honored to be here. And I’m incredibly thankful to the leagues of Ancestors, Family, Friends, Community, Lovers, Comrades… Yes, and Bitches and Motherfuckers… who have loved me, taught me, cared for me, witnessed me, and read me for filth…

    LOOK… I’m not sorry… THE HEALING ERA IS THE UNHINGED ERA. Y’all may not believe this but I actually forgot how unhinged I am (thanks COVID, you trifling nervous bastard!)… so I’m making up for lost time!!!

    *inserts moment where I chuck an invisible Grammy into the stage floor*

    I ain’t done yet. My grandmothers in heaven say I’m not done yet. The Ancestors say I’m not done yet. Spirit says I’m not done yet. They all say, Child, this is just the fucking beginning!

    And with all of that being said, you truly have not seen anything yet. And if you are reading this, thank you too. I hope to see you again here. You might buy my next record or service… or you might catch me in your city. Who knows? We have the ability to change any and everything, do anything, between birth and death. In between all of that is LIFE.

    xoxo

    venus kii thomas

  • A Requiem for the Matrix

    A Requiem for the Matrix

    Written October 2, 2023

    It’s the second day of October. I’m in my overgrown garden, present with the air and gazing upon the plants yet to be harvested. My physical energy, at this time, doesn’t allow me to work my body in the abundance of greens, some of them decaying into yellow, some already surrendered to the browns. My cat, Mozeet, rests and loafs on my sandals as I sit atop a tree stump that has always found me comfort and grounding. As I sit, a thought strikes me, yet it’s not a new one. It’s the same thought that’s struck me plenty of times over the summer recently passed and in the season-changing weeks leading up to the beginning of Hoodoo Heritage Month: The Matrix isn’t meant to be my primary residence. 

    The thought nestles softly in my brain on an introspective autumn morning as I commune with the spirits on the land I’m learning to steward. As I gather my belongings and motion Mozeet to follow me inside, I already know the earth on which my feet are walking, the breeze flying above my head, the rest I feel in my body, all of these blessings were not sent from the Matrix. No, none of them are man-made, always been here, longer than any of us have existed in this realm. And when I go back inside, I know I still won’t be in the Matrix. In fact, the moment when I have to prepare to be in the world by putting my clothes and shoes on, packing items in my purse and/or backpack, and selecting which mask I want to wear, that’s when I go to the Matrix.

    The Matrix isn’t fictional, and it isn’t just a movie franchise. Most of the world lives in the Matrix and isn’t aware they do because of their occupations, their responsibilities, and their obligations towards the functions and order of this world we are taught are needed. That means it’s working. The Matrix is determined to keep us distracted from true freedom by providing us with the construction of an alternative, man-engineered reality to keep us in line and to obey the standards of white supremacy. If we don’t give our obedience, we are either punished or eliminated. We face persecution, imprisonment, or death, in both the metaphoric and literal senses.

    My copy of Webster’s Dictionary defines matrix as “that within which something originates or develops.” I now know I was born a slave, not into slavery, but as a slave to the system that is housed in the Matrix. My understanding of the Matrix consisted of multiple places: the home I was raised in, the school district I graduated from, the church in which my spirit was supposed to be cared for, the friends I claimed as friends, and the city I spent the first 2 ½ decades of my life in. Everyone’s perception of the Matrix is different yet linked to the same construct, a monument of control and deceit. 

    To tell the story of how I escaped the Matrix would be an exhaustive feat. I’m sure I got started in this writing. Someone is curious. For the rest of the story, I would recommend staying connected and tuned to further writings and creations. Most of my life’s narrative has been spent in the Matrix. I look back at the floating timelines, amazed at my departure and immersed in staredowns with the moments bubbled in doubt. 

    And now that I’m here, I can declare a few things about myself. I am an abolitionist. I believe in an Afroqueer, transfeminist, gender expansive, and accessible future. The future I dream of won’t be rooted in white supremacist and white mediocre directions. I also believe it is necessary to pop in and out of the Matrix until this is achieved, an identical strategy shared with traveling the Underground Railroad. We must travel between worlds, the Matrix and our spirit-made cities of freedom, in order to annihilate this devilish society we’ve grown accustomed to, both by choice and condition. There are many keys we hold to accomplish this.

    On my bracelet, I hold the keys of creation, grounding, and resistance. I’m a breathing ritual of creation, and I surrender to the ground for medicine. Resistance, of these three acts, is the most delicious. Resistance is an immaculate container to hold all I strive for. Resistance is a chameleon with support from the keys of creation and grounding. The Matrix is a gigantic creature, a villain pouring into its own demise, a cop strongly rooted in its belief of destruction as victory. I am more powerful than the Matrix, no matter what it attempts to manipulate. It can’t have my soul or my mind. Nor can it flush away my invisible bottle of red capsules. 

  • The Choice of Catharsis

    The Choice of Catharsis

    Written April 21, 2025

    We have not entered a stage of catharsis. Catharsis is necessary. We are experiencing transient periods of relief. That is not the same as catharsis. 

    Catharsis is a requirement for the sustainability of humanity.

    We have forgotten about catharsis. Many of us don’t know what it is.

    The systems we have in place, the powers that rule, the powers that be, the authorities, all of them do not care to know or experience catharsis. Or rehabilitation. So why would they share interest or investment in such a thing? They are built to be distanced away from the indigenous, from the divine, from the ancient.

    The systems inspire us to travel on conquests for power. To them, power is salvation and security. And once you have it, you can never lose. Systemic power is an illusion. 

    Systemic power and catharsis can’t exist and thrive in the same space. In order for catharsis to occur, systemic power has to surrender and dismantle. Which of these is easier? I believe that to be systemic power. Systemic power requires lies. It is fueled by falsehood. If it operated on truth, we would be experiencing a different reality as a collective of humans around the world. But systems refuse to stand in their truth, to acknowledge the truth, therefore, we have the lies.

    And as victims of systemic power and oppression, we are indoctrinated to treat and abuse our bodies as active parts of the system. We work. We ignore. We avoid. We harm. The system teaches us to do that, and we are never taught to release, to rehabilitate, to correct, to heal.

    Because what does the system care about healing? The system cares about its operation continuing, no matter who gets hurt in the process. 

    If the system continues to operate, if we continue to give allegiance to the system, to systemic power, to oppression, then we shrink the spaces for catharsis, for repair, for holiness. 

    And we can’t exist without holiness. Truly exist.

    We exist in chronic devilish function or abundant holiness. You can only choose one of these paths. Holiness contains catharsis. And no matter the level of devilish function one is under, holiness can always be a choice or determination. Releasing and combating devilish function is an act of catharsis.

    Choose catharsis. Choose release. More of us must choose catharsis in our own lives so that our world may enter healing. If we don’t, everyone suffers – you, me, us, the world. 

    I choose catharsis. I will always choose catharsis. 

    Again, we have not collectively chosen catharsis, or entered into it together. We need more individuals and smaller collectives and communities of people to do this.

    How many problems do we have on this planet? In the areas we live, create, work, and play? How many oppressions do we have? Harms? Genocides? Ignorances? Prejudices? Misunderstandings? Disconnections? Abuses? Violences? Mistakes?

    We keep choosing all of the above as a people. The system chooses it. The system will always choose the same thing until it can’t tower over everyone and everything. 

    The true answer lies in choosing differently, in choosing catharsis, in activating it for our future. And I understand the difficulty in grasping belief without seeing proof – the future has informed us catharsis is the choice. Our descendents have told us.

    Therefore, you might as well choose it in this moment. 

    Choose relief. We will experience the same old, same old.

    Choose catharsis. We will win for the rest of our existences.